Sky

Call me a sky enthusiast, sky lover or sky watcher. I would be guilty as charged. It gets me excited and lifts up my spirits: looking above at all the colors, textures and changes. Why do I love this mundane, daily sky so much that I had to sit down and write a post around it? Because it makes me think so small in the scheme of larger things. I can feel all my problems getting melted away when I look at the sky.

After Corona Outbreak and the lockdown the sky has been magically transformed into a canvas where clouds, sun, moon and stars they all paint a painting each and every day. Following are some pictures I have taken over a period of 3-4 months while being locked down inside Shiv Nadar University Campus.

Evening Sky 

I never had a chance to roam around inside the campus. Or enjoy the greenery and the scenery of this beautiful campus. The lockdown was a blessing in disguise for me where I explored every inch of this land. Saw every sunset from all different angles while riding my bicycle or taking a lone walk.

The Hostel Lawns

This campus also has a small lake where all kinds of lives they thrive. Watching the sunrises here and later in the evening going to other spot to watch the sunset, that has been a ritual these past few months.

The Famous SNU Lake

Academic Blocks

My companion in these crazy times that has helped me immensely in keeping my sanity intact and my spirits soaring. The reason why I venture out is my cycle if it would have not been there I would have missed out so many sunsets and sunrises. I am every bit thankful and indebted to this beauty.

My Precious

I will not bore you down with my incessant commentary. A picture speaks thousand words. I will let you enjoy these pictures. Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed clicking them.

An Old Tree

From My Hostel Room Window

Looks Like An Oil Painting

Over The Horizon

The Dining Hall

The Ride

Love Birds

The Brilliance Of Nature

Another Brilliant Sunset Captured

Perspective

The Hostels of SNU

The Reflection

Good Night

Night Sky

   The End!

Dogs Vs Humans

I will be honest with you all. I have never been close to dogs or at least for the last 15 years. Nor have I ever been a dog lover. Certainly not the kinds that you encounter on Instagram or like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson kind. These creatures have thrown me out of my saddle while riding my bicycle many a times causing me physical injuries or that is what I have thought it to be. Because of which I had never been a fan of them, nor have I cared for their existence.

I have been locked down in the Shiv Nadar University for the last couple of months. There are a lot of clubs and communities in the University. This kind of diversity and awareness is something I really like about SNU. So there is also a community for dog lovers by the name Dogs of SNU. I am clearly a misfit here given my original disposition. But in the desperate times with lesser the number of students on campus I was given this responsibility of feeding the dogs of my cluster by Dogs of SNU. To be honest initially I thought what unnecessary irk I got down my throat and I was not very willing to do it initially. But then I thought what the heck, if I cannot help the poor creature in the time of need being available on the campus then who will. Keeping my prejudices related to dogs aside I agreed to take up the responsibility.

Now I am really thankful and grateful to Dogs of SNU for giving me this opportunity to serve these creatures who are epitome of faithfulness. This exercise has transformed me in many ways and changed the way I think. It changed me not just in my approach towards dogs; by being more empathetic towards them; but also in a way I started seeing other human beings. It also helped me a great deal in dealing with my break up.

It was never these dogs who threw me off my balance and bicycle I have come to realize now. It was my fear. As I started coming closer and closer to these beauties I have come to a realization that you better know and understand your fear rather than running away from them so that they don't throw you off your balance in life. But rather transform into love and compassion.

I had grown very acerbic and bitter towards others because of my breakup. As Buddha has rightly said and I quote "you are the first victim of your own anger". I would say it is true not just for anger, but for every negativity that you generate, you become the first victim of it. Being a Vipassana practitioner I knew this for a fact but when it comes to real life and situations the mind has its own ways. But I am really thankful to my practice and these dogs who have helped me see it.

The clouded compassion started shining again once the clouds of negativity started to clear. There is one more thing I have learnt about humans through these dogs that  when you get to know dogs better, you tend to develop a comfort zone around them and vice versa. Same is not true with humans. As and when you get to know humans better you need not develop the same comfort zone. It can also be that the comfort zone that you had before you have known the person in depth, gets transmogrified into a discomfort zone. With us humans ignorance is bliss. With dogs it is not.

Lastly I just want to thank Dogs of SNU for giving me this opportunity to come close to these beautiful creatures. They have really helped me in transforming my being. They helped me in being a better person, from being spiteful to being kind. Now they don't scare me anymore. All I have for them is love, compassion and an easy sense of friendliness. I still may not be a notarized natural dog lover, but I don't care for anyone's approval. I am happy with this change in my being.

“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” – Charles De Gaulle

The Reality Of Pain - 200 KM Brevet Ride

When you are into this game of long distance endurance building activities, you get to understand the concept of mind over matter first hand. Pain is that one illusion that gets shattered in these kinds of activities. Brevet format of cycling is one of them. Pain does not, will not and can never become pleasure; that is a myth. If that happens visit a psychiatrist because you are turning into a sadist. But what really happens is: you start seeing beyond pain. You go through the pain and see its impermanent nature. This experiential knowledge of impermanence is very crucial in reducing the hold of pain on your mind and thoughts. These uncomfortable zones they start turning into your comfort zones. As the saying goes “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

"My Beauty"

There two things I love about endurance sports like cycling and running:

1) Their simplicity
2) The personal growth they offer in terms of these life learnings

Running is simpler than cycling, but I still prefer cycling over running because I personally like a little touch of complexity with a greater sense of simplicity.

This brevet was indeed one of my toughest because of the external factors like dust, heavy traffic whizzing past you like a storm blowing against a lighted match stick and the traffic that comes towards you from the opposite direction with full beam; blinding you for a few minutes. But one thing I felt comfortable with was the pain. There are 4 areas of pain when it comes to long distance cycling:

1) The palms; which are resting heavily on the handle bars supporting your entire upper body weight.
2) You buttocks; for obvious reasons.
3) Your legs from all those hours and hours of pedaling
4) Your back; because of the unusual riding posture.

On this brevet I had least trouble with the first two. Managed pretty well the 3rd one and had a little trouble with the fourth one because of change in my cycle’s geometry due to a change of my cycling tyres. I went from conventional MBT tyres to thinner hybrid ones.

The definition of Endurance is: “the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way”. This is not absolute in real life application. When it comes to real life experience or application of endurance you vacillate between these moments of almost giving way to not giving way at all. This brevet I had so many moments where I was powerful and gave no way with a very few moments where I almost gave way. That is because I was otherwise feeling strong and powerful in life. After having a long struggling phase of low self-esteem and low self-worth I did managed to pull myself out of it in life. That is why they call it endurance testing rides. Sometimes these rides they build your endurance and make you feel powerful in life and sometimes life does that to your endurance rides.

"Something As Simple As A Glass Of Chai Can Be Highly Rejuvenating"

This would sound very strange, but it is pain, discomfort and unpleasantness that actually supplements your sensitivity and makes you grow more sensitive towards life and its aspects. It is not pain, discomfort and unpleasantness in absolute that does that magic. But it is the very process of you overcoming them and shedding their hold on you that actually does that. When you are being into a prolonged period of unpleasant or difficult process or situation; without giving way; you will observe that every other experience grows many folds. For example something as simple as a cool breeze on a sweaty and hot body, feels like a little more than refreshing: call it invigorating. Something as simple as a gulp of cold water down your dry and warm throat feels like a little more than a magic potion: call it elixir of life. And a song or tune in your ear sounds a little more than an anthem: call it the hymn of life. These are a few examples. Hope you get the picture clear, or do I need to state more?

"Even Something as Simple As A Sunset Seems So Magical"

In a way you start feeling grateful to these discomforts, unpleasant moments and all the pains. They help you see through them, if you are willing to look, and they help you grow through them if you are willing to observe.

“The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Rear-view Mirror

 "My Third-Eye - Rear-View Mirror"

I have a small rear-view mirror mounted on my bi-cycle handle as I am very apprehensive when it comes to taking a turn or crossing a road while riding my bike. I bought the this piece of accessory keeping in mind its only utility, i.e. to look at the rear traffic while riding and crossing roads. But that is not the only purpose this piece of item has served for me. In my riding experience with it for last 1 year; since the time I bought it; has it not only served the purpose of an extra eye but has taken over this role of a third eye.

"The End Of Business Hours"

This eye has shown me countless number of sunsets setting at my back, numerous contours of sky, captured plethora of birds flying in its view and caught many trees as if they were all trying to get featured on this tiny reflective surface. You must be thinking why am I writing an entire post on such a trifling piece of item which has almost no value in the cycling sport. The answer to that question is: for me cycling is not just a sport but an aesthetic experience. It is like a double-edged sword. It helps me in being close to nature and at the same time helps me in keeping fit. And let me tell you, this one piece of attachment in the form of rear-view mirror has transformed this experience. From time to time looking at this rear-view mirror and the contents of nature coming in and going out has become a cardinal part of my everyday cycling routine.

"Here I am On The Road Again..." 

"A Perfect Combination: That Glorious Sun Amongst The Clouds"

Sometimes just by looking at these images on my rear-view mirror, I simply stop, absorb the sky, the clouds, the birds, sun, moon, and the nature, take a picture; if I feel like it; and move on. I will share some of the pictures I took because I was being stopped and told to do so by this magic mirror. Also on the surface of this reflector, every image changes every second, constantly reminding me of the value of impermanence. When I get cruising because of a tail-wind or downhill slope, it serves as a reminder for me that: this too shall pass and advises not to get carried away because the opposite situation is also in store and will come. Sometimes, when I am struggling with pain, storms, headwinds, or uphill climbs, this mirror with its changing imagery serves as a constant reminder that this too will change and helps me to get through those tough phases.   

"Cloudy: Sometimes Not So Clear and A Loner Bird"

बचपन के वो पर्दे

उन पर्दों को देख के वो बचपन याद आता है,


जब घर के उन कोनों में ये हवा से यूँ लहराते होते थे।

सुरक्षा और आश्रय के ये प्रतीक, 
जब घर में दौड़ते दौड़ते हम इनसे जान बूझ के टकराते थे।
अपनी लंबाई से हम इन्हें कभी नापा करते थे,
अपने चेहरे, माथे से और वेग से हम इन पर्दों से भी कभी लड़ाई करते थे।
कभी इन्हें अपना जिगरी दोस्त मान के दिल से गले लगाया करते थे,
और कभी कट्टर दुश्मन मान के मुक्के इनपे बरसाया करते थे।
पिताजी की डांट की गर्जन से जब पूरा घर थरथराता था,
हम तो बस इन्ही दीवार से लटके कुछ फ़ीट के कपड़ो को ही ढाल बना के खुद को सुरक्षित महसूस कराना जाना करते थे।
चाहे खेल हो आइस पाइस का, या फिर चंचलता में गोल गोल घूमने का,
हम तो बस इन्ही पर्दों के सहारे खुश होना जाना करते थे।
आज भी जब इनको हम हवा से यूँ लहराते देखा करते हैं,
तो कहीं ना कहीं वो मासूम सी भोली सुरक्षा और क्रीडा को याद करते खुदको पाया करते हैं।

Entanglement

Strangulated in this linear entanglement

Getting content with this fulfilling resentment

Overwhelmed with this subtle numbness
Embracing this pleasant hurt with greatest tenderness
These entanglements speak silently of my past struggles
Under the naked sky,
Chilling wind on my face, ruffling these strands of black hair
I pass these twisted and accessible hurdles
Throw what you may, dirt, muck or filth
With effort, patience and love
Walking the path of truth
I will transform every dirt into gold so pure,
Every muck into a majestic lotus
and every filth into a bright prospect
My entanglements are my opportunities
Making me grow, making me strong,
Bringing-out all vigor and buoyant properties
I will not let anyone take away my entanglements
and promise will make use of them to the greatest of my strengths.

सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली

"सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली"

अरे तो इसमें दिक्कत क्या है भाई? बिल्ली हज को ही तो चली है, मैखाने की तरफ तो नहीं रूख किया है। कुछ लोगों की प्रवित्ति ही ऐसी होती है, निराशावाद से भरी हुई। इन लोगों की अगर आप सुनने लगेंगे तो एक समय आपको ऐसा लगेगा की आत्म सुधार बस इक मित्थ्या मात्र है, और कुछ नहीं। इनकी मानें तो आप अपने भूत की ऐसी संतान हैं जो नकारात्मकता से भरी हुई है। ऐसी संतान जिसका भूत भविष्य और वर्तमान, सब गर्त मैं पड़ा हुआ है। और गर्त भी तो ऐसा गर्त जिसमें से; इन जैसे लोगों के अनुसार; निकलना मुश्किल ही नहीं, नामुमकिन है। अगर आप इन लोगों की बातों को जयादा महत्त्व देंगे और गम्बीरता से लेंगे तो आप वो बिल्ली बन के रह जायेंगे जो अगर आत्म सुधार के तरफ कोई भी कदम उठाये तो कदम उठाने से पहले ये बोल के टोक दिया जाये "हुंह! सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली"। और फिर आप अपने आप को उस अनंत, कभी समाप्त न होने वाली प्रक्रिया में फंसे हुए पाएंगे। जिसमे आप इन निराशावादी लोगों को ये विश्वास दिलाने में लग जाते हैं की, आत्म सुधार, बेहतर भविष्य, एक ठोस संभावना है। ये लोग नहीं मानेंगे। आप और प्रयास करेंगे, ये लोग फिर आपको यह कह के झुठला देंगे की "सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली"।

आप पूछेंगे की हम किसी भी राह चलते निराशावादी मनुष्य को क्यों विश्वास दिलाने में अपनी ऊर्जा व्यर्थ करेंगे। पर ऐसे कुछ निराशावादी लोग आपके बहुत करीबी भी तो हो सकते हैं।  पर क्यूंकि ये लोग आपके इतने करीबी होते हैं, तो आप इन लोगों को विश्वास दिलाने में अपनी जरूरी ऊर्जा व्यर्थ कर देते हैं। इस ऊर्जा, जिसका आप आत्म सुधार, एक बेहतर भविष्य, जैसी संभावनाओं को हकीकत बनाने में लगा सकते थे, उसे आप इन कभी न समझने वाले लोगों को समझाने में नष्ट करते अपने आपको पाते हैं। क्या किया जाये की आप जयादा समय इन लोगों को अपनी सकारात्मकता सिद्ध करने में न व्यर्थ करें, और जल्दी होश में आ के इस ऊर्जा का उपयोग अपनी ज़िन्दगी को एक सकारात्मक आकार देने में लगाएं।

ऐसा करने के लिए दो अंश हैं:
१) अभिज्ञान
२) उपेक्षा

अभिज्ञान से तात्पर्य है की पहले पता तो लगाइये की ये व्यक्ति जो आपका बहुत करीबी है, वो एक नकारात्मक विचारशैली का धारक है। और अपने साथ वो आपको भी पीछे की तरफ खींच रहा है। जिस पल आपको इस बात का ज्ञांत हो जाता है, आप इस मनुष्य की उपेक्षा प्रारम्भ कर देंगे। जैसे ही आप इस प्राणी की उपेक्षा करना शुरू कर देते हैं, आप पाएंगे की आपको इसकी किसी भी बात का अब कोई असर नहीं पड़ रहा है। अब आपके लिए इस मनुष्य को कुछ साबित करना अनिवार्य नहीं है। आपकी इस व्यक्ति की तरफ कोई जवाबदेही नहीं है। तब जा के कहीं आप अपनी महत्वपूर्ण ऊर्जा का सदुपयोग करना प्रारम्भ करेंगे और अपने जीवन को एक नयी दिशा देने का काम प्रारम्भ करेंगे।

Journey...

I came thus far not because someone told me to,
This was my choice, my decision for once being true

My days of lying and fooling myself had to get over,
I got some pedals and a saddle, this was my time to get sober

My learning have always been sluggish and and kind of slow
But I have arrived and reached, when time has called upon me to show

For me this journey has just started to unfold,
There is no stopping back, nothing that can hold

I will spread these wings and goto places untouched,
Explore, seek and discover the joy within, which is ready to be unearthed

This is the day I promise myself, that I am never going to be unhappy again,
But be that bundle of sunshine and rainbows, which no walls and darkness can contain...

ज्वलन

तप से डरे है क्यों राही,

इस नदिया है तूफ़ान माही|
जो तू चला त्यागने अपनी भ्रान्ति,
ये पथ नहीं आसान रे पंथी|
जूझ आज अपनी उलझनों से,
कल के ख़यालों पे क्यों सोये रे|
इन घनघोर अंधेरी रातों में, तू जला के अपने पराक्रम की ज्वाला,
ज्ञान, विवेक और पुरुषार्थ से आज फिरसे कर दे तू एक नवीन उजाला।
जले हुए को क्या डराएगी ये आग की लपटें,
जी लिया बस बहुत यूँ डरते डरते।
झोंक देना इस जीवन को तुम तप, अग्नि, ज्वाला, अनल में,
यूँ हो कि या तो बस राख रह जाये, या तो कुंदन कमल से।

-beelikemakkhi

Soar - A Short Poem

When I see you; my bird; starting to spread those wings,
Starting to take a leap, carving those stepping stones on the flowing winds,
I take a pause, stop and admire your beauty in your flight,
I remember it was you who once told me that I am afraid of heights,
As you go higher up on those stairs made on those winds, making that magnificent climb,
My mouth half open, eyes in the sky, with one hand shunning the sunlight and one eye watching your 'soar' so divine,
I see you; my bird; almost touching those clouds, kissing that sun,
If such is the grace and beauty that lies in your soar, I would never wish or pray for your return.
-BeeLikeMakkhi

Life On Saddle and Beyond - Nearly 12,000 KM of Cycling

Nearly 1.5 years from today I wrote a post titled Life On The Saddle - 5000 Kms of Cycling. This post is a sequel to this last post.

At the time when I wrote that post I was still struggling in this recovery from my serious love affair with alcohol and cigarette addiction. That was the time I was occupied with this thinking and high headedness, that by getting into cycling and staying away from Cigarette and Alcohol is more than enough in life. Slowly and gradually I started growing as a cyclist. I soon completed my first 50 Kilometers. Then I did my first century ride. After which I went from Delhi to Rishikesh on cycle; that was my first double century. Then I completed the golden triangle (Delhi - Agra - Jaipur - Delhi) covering 750 Kilometers in 3 days. Then came my first 300 Kilometer brevet which I managed to finish comfortably in 17 hours and so on and so forth. Still, till last 2-3 months, I used to be under impression that just by getting into cycling and successfully managing to fight down my years long addiction of alcohol and cigarette; I am some sort of a heavyweight or headliner. And I am doing some kind of favor on people around me.

Of course managing these back breaking and butt burning, hours long cycle rides is not easy. But there should cometh a point in life when one needs to move on from his own achievements; stop being amazed at one's own-self progress and look for endeavors more challenging and daunting. This is how growth happens. The day you stop looking for these new embarkments in life, the growth in life stops. Stagnation seeps in, when you grossly entrench yourself in self glorification. Today while riding and talking to my girlfriend on the phone for 2 long hours, I realized that it is high time for me to move on and take up new challenges and touch upon some untouched territories. Because cycling and not getting back to my old-self has now been cemented into my system. Sometimes we get so much engrossed in making useless efforts into things which has started happening effortlessly on its own that we stop expanding newer horizons because we do not have any energy left.

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

― Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

I realized today that I need not to make any extra effort to keep these two going, i.e. cycling and not getting back to my own-self. I can utilize all that effort in expanding new horizons and embarking upon new endeavors. I have been making plans for new things and failing at it miserably all this while not realizing or having a single clue as to why. Today I know the reason. It was because I was fearful of letting go of the effort which was required to sustain the changed lifestyle which I adopted some 2.5 years ago. Not realizing that this lifestyle had been moving on its own accord for a long time now and my efforts had just been a contributor to the stagnation in my life. It is just like when you start to learn cycling and some elder holds your seat from behind to help you balance. You ride and ride and one day you look back to realize that the hand that was there to support your balance had long been gone and you have traveled a long way on your own. Now you need not to be conscious of your balance anymore, but if you do, you are bound to fall. 

With this newfound realization and knowledge (Thanks to 1. my cycle and other, 2. my Girlfriend); the time has come to add some more juggling clubs in my act of juggling in life. I have realized that I need to keep the current juggling clubs moving and add more elements. Time has come and time is ripe when I need to move and grow in my professional and academic prospects of life as well. This is something I was very good at and it is also something that had long been neglected and ignored. Starting and opening this front, won't be easy. But so was with leaving behind smoking and drinking and adapting a healthy lifestyle. I have never been a quitter on challenges, nor will I be this time. It was typically me, being fearful of letting go of something I had long conquered. I am now ready with some new found energy and vigor. 

Life! Bring it on!!  

Rishikesh to Devprayag Cycling Trip

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived"

-Henry David Thoreau

I cannot live at the extremities to which HDT lived but I can always live the essence of his line of living. But I strongly agree with "when I came to die, discover that I had not lived". I too want to die with as lesser regrets as possible. The only way to achieve that is to try to live as fiercely as possible. That is something I had been trying to do since the year I left Smoking and Drinking. Every year on my birthday from last 2 years I have gone on a Trek and a Cycling trip from Delhi to Agra To Jaipur and Back. This year had been no different. I had been thinking of going from Rishikesh to Devprayag on a Cycle for a long time now. What could be a better day to attempt this feat than my 31st Birthday?

The thought of attempting this route on a cycle had been germinating in my mind since the day I went on a trek in Joshimath and saw Bhagirathi and Alakhnanda merging together to make Ganga for the first time. It captured my imagination when I tried Delhi to Rishikesh on a cycle sometime before. But could not go till Devprayag due to lack of experience, confidence, stamina, energy, and equipment. This time around I had everything. A good Mountain Bike, some off-roading experience; in Aravali hills near Gurgaon - Faridabad highway; better stamina, cleaner lungs and stronger legs with 9, 500+ kilometers on the saddle till date.

There was a feeling of reluctance in my mind on the day I had to leave for Rishikesh. This procrastinating continued until the next day, a day after the decided day when I was supposed to leave; due to something going on in my personal life. I was not sure of leaving even the day, the hour before I actually left for it. Anyways a day and 3/4th late finally I left my home for this trip on my Scott Aspect 740 large frame, 27.5 incher MTB. At 9:30 PM,  I thought of catching the bus for Rishikesh from Anand Vihar ISBT which is quite near my house. Tackling the maddening crowd, staring eyes, and some turning heads towards mounted headlights, taillights on my bike, and reflector jacket on my shoulders; I reached my destination. As I rushed through to Uttrakhand Transportation Corporation's ticket counter, a middle-aged uncle (every unknown person in India is either uncle, aunty, bhaiya (brother) or madam) told me that there are no buses from here to Rishikesh and I need to goto Kashmere Gate ISBT. Again tackling the crowd, its stares, glances, and exclamations like oh Teri! (damn); which was another 17-19 Km from where I was; I peddled my to Kashmere Gate at 9:45 PM carrying along the fear of dogs, hesitancy of catching the bus, and if they would allow my cycle to travel with me without a prior booking; with me.

As I reached the gates of Delhi's biggest Bus station from where every bus left for their respective destinations, I happened to see a board in Hindi reading 'Rishikesh'. Hesitantly, I asked the bus conductor if I could go to Rishikesh in his bus. He looked at me from head to feet. Smiled at me at first looking at my gear and bike. Then said, why not! come on in. I asked him how. He told me from the front door. I asked him, is my bike allowed? He told me why not if you are willing to pay for its ticket. To which I readily agreed and loaded my bike inside his bus and took it to the last seat.

"My Place In Bus"

Reached Rishikesh bus stand at 4:30 AM in the morning. It was all windy and a little chilly. I was not carrying any jacket or full length trousers with me. All I had were a couple of t-shirts, a full sleeve shirt and a couple of shorts including my padded shorts. Please carry a light jacket if you happen to be in Rishikesh sometime in March. The early mornings and nights are chilly. I rode my way from the bus stand to Laxman Jhula in search of an accommodation. The dogs here in Rishikesh were as curious as people back at Anand Vihar. The only difference was that they were just staring and the dogs here were all barking and chasing me. God knows if that was my weird getup, energy or the lights on my bike which captured the imagination of these dogs of Rishikesh. Fighting my fear and anxiety at every turn and sight of any dog or their group gatherings. I reached Laxman Jhula only to discover that shops were not open yet. I was advised to stay in Tapovan. I reached Tapovan to find out that Mount Valley Mama Cottage is full and there is no one at New Bhandari Swiss Cottage. Reluctantly I strolled my bike to NH7 and made a call to a campsite manager to book a tent.

 "Accommodation In Shivpuri"

After booking the tent I peddled my way on NH7 to Shivpuri. Reached Shivpuri. Had breakfast. Checked out the river which was flowing in full flow very close to where I was staying. Dumped most of my stuff; retaining some of the important ones like a pump, toolkit, lock, reflector jackets, lights and power bank; in the tent which I had booked and shot off on my bike for Devprayag! It is 55 Kms from Shivpuri and 68 from Rishikesh. It was 10:00 AM in the morning when I started from Shivpuri. Making calculations based on my approximation for my average speed on hills and trails, which is about 15-17 kmph, I came to a conclusion that it will take me 7.5 - 8.5 hours including a one hour break at Devprayag. So, in any case, I would have been back by 5:30 PM or at maximum by 6:30 PM. To which all I have to say now is "Never underestimate the gradients and climbs of a hill". Initially, it was all downhill and a little uphill to entice and augment the overconfidence which I had when I started. After 1.5 hours in the ride there started the back-breaking uphill climb. It was nearly 11:30 AM near noon and the sun was almost above my head glaring in its full glory.

As the climb it started I was very confident with my body, muscles, and experience. I had done many trails near Gurgaon Faridabad highway. Had attempted many climbs in the trails. All the images and memories of those conquered trails and climbs came to the mind. Switching to a low gear combination on chainrings and on the cassette. 2-3 or 2-2 or sometimes 2-1 was the gear combination I was compelled to use, on a chainring-cassette setup (in that order).  This was one climb that was not willing to end. I had to step further down on my 3 level chainring system to 1-3, 1-2 or 1-1 gear combination on certain stretches where the climb was steeper. I thought of making just one stop when I started initially. But this endless backbreaking climb made me stop midway at a rock where I drank water, caught my breath and clicking a few pictures moved on. It was kind of recollection stop. My legs were screaming at top of their voices "Please stop this madness". Which activated my vocal chords and made them utter a powerful scream "F*** it and I stopped.

"Stoppage Point"

"Photo Sessions Amidst Madness"

This time around the Sun was right above my head as I crawled my way to a small eating joint also known as 'dhaaba' in India. I ordered Yellow Split chickpeas lentils and rice. Which I was offered all on one plate. Never had food tasted so good in my entire life. It was heavenly, bliss, euphoria, call whatever you may! I suppose this should be the way to eat and digest food. I also had Limca with jaljeera (Mix of some spices with black salt) which is the best remedy for cramps or to avoid any foreseeable cramps. Normally I am not the kind of person who would ask anybody on a trek or be cycling expedition the question "how far is it?". But I was compelled to shoot this question to the shop owner "How much more do I have to climb?". To which the reply sounded so sonorous that even Adele couldn't match. He informed me coolly that it is just 2 KM of climb left. After which it is all downhill.

My Strava read 33.3 KM at this point. 33.3 Kilometers only! I was in shock at first. The amount of effort I have put in peddling my way till this point; if I would have applied the same amount of effort on a plain road my Strava was bound to cross 100-kilometer mark. This reading meant I still have to cover 22 Kilometers approximately 2 uphill and 20 downhill. This 20 downhill uplifted my spirits tremendously; which was all over the place in last 2.5 hours of endless spine breaking climbs. I took off again. My butts were pleading with me to not to put them back on that rocky saddle. But who listens to these poor butts anyways. 2 KM uphills as rightly pointed out by the food joint owner. Then the descent started. I was cruising. 50-60 KMPH on the downhill, cool wind on my face and legs, the green water of the Ganges flowing next to me, my heart was resounding a big, cliched word 'bliss'. Because there is nothing like absolute bliss when you are on a 100+km bike ride on mountains. What is uphill will be downhill and what is downhill is going to be uphill. The first practical lesson of 'Neti-Neti' learned and understood.

"Snaky and Twisted Roads Of The Mountains"

There is no point to be too depressed, and no point in being too happy. What is uphill will eventually be downhill and what is downhill is eventually going to be uphill. Finally, what exactly matters in this game of uphill and downhill is that you keep on pedaling, keep on learning, keep on moving, with a much-unaffected mind as one can. The following lines of the song "Mann Kasturi" from the movie Masan came to my mind.

उल्टा कर के देख सके तो
अम्बर भी है गहरी खाई||
(If you turn it upside down,
Even the sky is like a bottomless pit)

I  kind of grasped some experiential meaning of those two lines at that very moment. Not trying to get carried away by the thrill and excitement of the downhill section of the ride, I cruised my way closer to Devprayag. It was now in my sight. From a distance, at the top of a mountain, I could see the 2 tributaries meeting. The sight gave me an elated sense of relief and contentment. This was what I had come to see, and witness. 300+ Kilometers; 233 on a Bus and 67 on my bike; all the way from my home in Ghaziabad to this point in space. This is how a pilgrimage has to be done for some deeper or shallow spiritual experiences. Otherwise, you are just visiting another place, another touristic destination with your same old self. Nothing changes, nothing transpires really and there is no experience at all; deep or shallow.

"Devprayag - Spotted From a Distance"

I took me and my bike all the way down at the helm, the mouth or junction of this union also known as 'Prayag'. I drank the water directly from the river; making the freshly formed Ganga flow through my dry throat to my thirsty stomach. I for the first time experienced the feeling of 'one-ness' of what these mystics, Sufi poets, and spiritual teachers talk about in every literary work of theirs. I was grabbed with this thought that 60% of me is water, followed by an intense feeling that I am the river and the river is me. It lasted for only 6-10 seconds but it gave me a sense of sensitivity, what lifetimes cannot impart. I knew I have inched one more step closer to my roots, my being, and self.

"Adjacent to Devprayag"

I returned back to my tent/camp late at around 8:00 PM - 8:30 PM. Many times on my way back I felt intense pain and discomfort in my legs, butt, back, and palms. The thought "why me" came and went. I was calmer, more composed, and more in control of my being than what I was when I started. It was pitch dark after 7:00 PM and I almost rode for one and a half hour in that stark darkness. Still, there was something inside me which was automatically combating the fear which was culminating every now and then. This something I am sure was what the river gave me as a birthday gift in those 6-10 seconds of communion.

"Sunset - Marking The End Of A Day and A Beginning Of The Other"

The Two Worlds Of An Airport

It is only on an Airport that you will find two sections, one for Arrivals and one for Departures. Unlike a railway station which has a uniform platform for both the purposes. So the kind of divisional display of human emotions so prominently visible at an airport gets profusely diffused on a railway station.

At an airport with it being divided into the above said sections it becomes a world of two minds. One mind is full of expectancy of meeting someone and the other full of reluctance of letting; someone you know; go. This is the same way we normally react to every other situation we face in our lives. Airport's Arrival and Departure sections are only a makeshift stage for this human behavior of expectancy and holding onto, to be displayed in its stark nakedness.

Whenever life throws at us situations; which we call favorable; we start getting excited and start growing more and more in anticipation. After receiving that favorable situation in reality we start holding onto it and not want to let that situation go and want it to stay longer. This human nature of us deter us to make the best of those situations as we are in a state of constant tension. Always trying something or the other.

What I have realized with my visits to the Airport; when I went to receive and see someone off is; when we start controlling our expectancy; keeping it under check; we receive whatever life throws at us with simple happiness and with less excitement. And if we can somehow reduce our clinging, we really live with whatever life has/had thrown at us. Once you have really lived with the situation/person, you get a feeling of contentment, and saying goodbye to the person/situation becomes easier. Deep down inside you know that the situation or the person will be coming back to you and till then you need to prepare yourself again to receive them better than the last time.

Misery is our creation and will always be. The effort should be about how to reduce this misery and grow more in contentment (I do not mean complacency here).

A Trip To Banares - Untangling Knots

बाबा के बैठक में बिछी चटाई , बहार रखे खड़ाऊं (At the meeting place of the wise man, there is a floor mat and outside are kept the slippers)

मिलने वाले के मन में असमंजस जाऊं या न जाऊं (There is a doubt in the mind of a man who so dearly wants to meet this wise man. And he is so caught up by this dilemma of whether to go in or stay back)

माथे तिलक आँख पर ऐनक, पोथी खुली स्वयं से बोले (The wise man has a holy mark on his forehead, spectacles on his eyes, there are holy scriptures in front of him and he talks to himself saying...)

आओ मन की गाँठे खोलें  (Come lets untangle these knots of the mind, Come lets untangle these knots of the mind.)

आओ मन की गाँठे खोलें | 

These famous lines from Aao Man Ki Ganthen Kholen by our former Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee naturally comes to the mind when one thinks about Banares; now known as Varanasi. I had been planning on visiting this sacred land back from college days, but never had a chance to do so until August this year. We had been watching a few documentaries on Banares (I prefer to call this ancient city by its old name) and also there has been a mention of this place in the book: Aghora: At the left hand of god by Robert E. Svoboda. Since that time me and my friend Approv (Whom we lovingly address as 'Pondy' - where "pondy" is a slang for hindi porn literature) had been so hooked on visiting this place. But the movie Masan really cemented our wish to visit this place into action and reality. 

I wanted to visit this place chiefly because of the following 3 reasons: 

1) The funeral grounds - Where one can witness death in its crude and naked reality.

2) The age old culture and traditions

3) The mighty Ganges

The Funeral Grounds - Life and Death!

There are 2 funeral ghats at two extreme ends of the Banares coast lines. In between these two funeral ghats, spirituality, business, religion, philosophy and everything else that comprises life exists. It is a geographic symbolism to the very fact of life; death. It is between this wheel of life and death that life exists. 

We stayed close to Raja Harish Chandra Ghat because we were told it is cheaper there. We did not mind the place being very close to one of the funeral ghats of Banares; rather we were happy. It was also a place closer to Baba Kinaram Sthal and Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple. Don't forget to try the famous Balushahi of Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple. It comes all wrapped up in environment friendly boxes made of bamboo shoots and is being packed with lots of Tulsi leaves.  

We spent a lot of time on Harish Chandra ghat trying to realize the impermanent nature of life in the grossest manner possible by looking at the procession of funeral pyres next to us. Also we realized that there is a separate ghat for upper class and the rich of the society; Manikarnika Ghat; then there is a ghat for the lower class and poor of the society; near to which we were staying; called Raja Harish Chandra Ghat. We have not spared even death from this ugly human division of high and low, upper and lower. Life and death existed in this place at such close proximities. Such existence gives you an altogether different perspective in life which is so hard to find in Cities and concrete jungles of a metropolitan. Life moves at a different pace in these places and have a bittersweet taste to it which simply enriches the taste buds of your life experiences. I am sorry I don't have any pictures of these two ghats as we wished to honor the deceased and the privacy of the near and dear ones.

The age old culture and traditions!

"A Scene From Assi Ghat"

Banares is a city known to be founded by Shiva and is considered to be one of the oldest cities in India. From Buddha to Adi Shankracharya to Tulsidas to Guru Nanak jee everyone has some relation or the other to this place. Such is the heavy weight, age old history of this place. You will find here from different traditions to different cultures all amalgamating here in one stream of life. 

This diversity is not only limited to people, traditions and cultures, but you can see its presence in varied food options available from sweets to 'Chaat' (very spicy and piquant snack) to drinks. If you are in Banares, you should let your tastes buds run wild and go crazy. Try everything to anything. Especially the local chaat, pan (Indian Mouthfreshner) and thandai. This place is a heaven for foodies. Especially for people who love street food. 

Godowlia Chowk is the place where you can get amazing Thandai. You get this drink either plain or with Bhaang. Banarasi Thandai is prepared with melon seeds, cream, milk, rose petals, saafron, almonds, sugar, cashew and saunf. Thandai in Banaras is also available with a dose of bhang, if you’re up for trying. Bhang consists of dried leaves and buds of the female cannabis plant. 

"Shiva Thandai - Godowlia Chowk"

The Mighty Ganges:

From Rishikesh to Banares I had always been fascinated with rivers. Sitting on a river bank and watching the river flow in juxtaposition with my flowing thoughts had been my favorite past time. I can sit on a river bank for hours at a stretch without getting bored. Observing the river with the flowing thoughts in my mind, sipping tea once a while, and reading a few pages from my book has been what I was there for, majorly. 

"Chai, Book and The River! A Still From Narad Ghat"

I wanted to take a boat trip as I saw people taking it, but I let that thought pass and did not care to transform it into action. It was too much trouble. But I loved watching these boats passing by. Sometimes full with 15-20 people and sometimes only with couple of people on the entire boat. It was as if looking at them from the other side of the world and they being placed at the other end. 

"Boat Parking"

Probably these boat trips could give you a different feel of the ghats and the place. It can let you look at things from a different perspective. It will cost you somewhere between Rs. 150 - 400 (depending on the boat size and group strength) to get this perspective. I saved it for a later visit when I comeback to the place. One should always leave a thing or two undone to keep it as a reason to come back that is my modus operandi when visiting a place. 

"The Boat Ride - Break On Through To The Other Side"

There is something for everyone in this city. From someone as introverted as me to someone very gregarious and outgoing. This is a place which will not be bothered to interfere with your true being. It will let you be what you naturally choose to be....

"A Sage, Sadhu, Taking A Holy Dip In The River"

“जिन खोजा तिन पाइया, गहरे पानी पैठ, मैं बपुरा बूडन डरा, रहा किनारे बैठ।” (Those who try, they get something or the other. Just like a hard-working diver goes deep into the water and comes up with something. But there are some poor people who are sitting on the shore with fear of drowning and can not find anything.) 

So please be the diver, go out and visit this ancient city of India, lovingly called as Banares and formally known as Varanasi.