The Reality Of Pain - 200 KM Brevet Ride

When you are into this game of long distance endurance building activities, you get to understand the concept of mind over matter first hand. Pain is that one illusion that gets shattered in these kinds of activities. Brevet format of cycling is one of them. Pain does not, will not and can never become pleasure; that is a myth. If that happens visit a psychiatrist because you are turning into a sadist. But what really happens is: you start seeing beyond pain. You go through the pain and see its impermanent nature. This experiential knowledge of impermanence is very crucial in reducing the hold of pain on your mind and thoughts. These uncomfortable zones they start turning into your comfort zones. As the saying goes “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

"My Beauty"

There two things I love about endurance sports like cycling and running:

1) Their simplicity
2) The personal growth they offer in terms of these life learnings

Running is simpler than cycling, but I still prefer cycling over running because I personally like a little touch of complexity with a greater sense of simplicity.

This brevet was indeed one of my toughest because of the external factors like dust, heavy traffic whizzing past you like a storm blowing against a lighted match stick and the traffic that comes towards you from the opposite direction with full beam; blinding you for a few minutes. But one thing I felt comfortable with was the pain. There are 4 areas of pain when it comes to long distance cycling:

1) The palms; which are resting heavily on the handle bars supporting your entire upper body weight.
2) You buttocks; for obvious reasons.
3) Your legs from all those hours and hours of pedaling
4) Your back; because of the unusual riding posture.

On this brevet I had least trouble with the first two. Managed pretty well the 3rd one and had a little trouble with the fourth one because of change in my cycle’s geometry due to a change of my cycling tyres. I went from conventional MBT tyres to thinner hybrid ones.

The definition of Endurance is: “the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way”. This is not absolute in real life application. When it comes to real life experience or application of endurance you vacillate between these moments of almost giving way to not giving way at all. This brevet I had so many moments where I was powerful and gave no way with a very few moments where I almost gave way. That is because I was otherwise feeling strong and powerful in life. After having a long struggling phase of low self-esteem and low self-worth I did managed to pull myself out of it in life. That is why they call it endurance testing rides. Sometimes these rides they build your endurance and make you feel powerful in life and sometimes life does that to your endurance rides.

"Something As Simple As A Glass Of Chai Can Be Highly Rejuvenating"

This would sound very strange, but it is pain, discomfort and unpleasantness that actually supplements your sensitivity and makes you grow more sensitive towards life and its aspects. It is not pain, discomfort and unpleasantness in absolute that does that magic. But it is the very process of you overcoming them and shedding their hold on you that actually does that. When you are being into a prolonged period of unpleasant or difficult process or situation; without giving way; you will observe that every other experience grows many folds. For example something as simple as a cool breeze on a sweaty and hot body, feels like a little more than refreshing: call it invigorating. Something as simple as a gulp of cold water down your dry and warm throat feels like a little more than a magic potion: call it elixir of life. And a song or tune in your ear sounds a little more than an anthem: call it the hymn of life. These are a few examples. Hope you get the picture clear, or do I need to state more?

"Even Something as Simple As A Sunset Seems So Magical"

In a way you start feeling grateful to these discomforts, unpleasant moments and all the pains. They help you see through them, if you are willing to look, and they help you grow through them if you are willing to observe.

“The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Entanglement

Strangulated in this linear entanglement

Getting content with this fulfilling resentment

Overwhelmed with this subtle numbness
Embracing this pleasant hurt with greatest tenderness
These entanglements speak silently of my past struggles
Under the naked sky,
Chilling wind on my face, ruffling these strands of black hair
I pass these twisted and accessible hurdles
Throw what you may, dirt, muck or filth
With effort, patience and love
Walking the path of truth
I will transform every dirt into gold so pure,
Every muck into a majestic lotus
and every filth into a bright prospect
My entanglements are my opportunities
Making me grow, making me strong,
Bringing-out all vigor and buoyant properties
I will not let anyone take away my entanglements
and promise will make use of them to the greatest of my strengths.

ज्वलन

तप से डरे है क्यों राही,

इस नदिया है तूफ़ान माही|
जो तू चला त्यागने अपनी भ्रान्ति,
ये पथ नहीं आसान रे पंथी|
जूझ आज अपनी उलझनों से,
कल के ख़यालों पे क्यों सोये रे|
इन घनघोर अंधेरी रातों में, तू जला के अपने पराक्रम की ज्वाला,
ज्ञान, विवेक और पुरुषार्थ से आज फिरसे कर दे तू एक नवीन उजाला।
जले हुए को क्या डराएगी ये आग की लपटें,
जी लिया बस बहुत यूँ डरते डरते।
झोंक देना इस जीवन को तुम तप, अग्नि, ज्वाला, अनल में,
यूँ हो कि या तो बस राख रह जाये, या तो कुंदन कमल से।

-beelikemakkhi

The Starting of Starting All Over Again and Again

"The Wobbly Clothesline In My Balcony; The Clips Depicting The Inconsistency Of Life With Moments Of Interruption"

When it comes to picking up a hobby or activity; leaving it all of a sudden and keep coming back to it; I will be crowned as an unprecedented, unrivalled champion! I am an expert to this kind of pattern. I have only been consistent in being inconsistent. Before we can go into the pros and cons of the matter; let me put some facts about my life to support the argument made above in regards to my inconsistencies:

1) Took up playing Basketball and Cricket. Played it till State Level; now play neither of the sports.

2) Loved Mathematics and Computers; but lost interest in both subjects in Engineering College.

3) Took up reading and avid interest in English Language. Till now had frequent love hate relationship with it. This inconsistency can be observed from difference of date and time in my blog posts.

4) Went for my first Vipassana Meditation course in 2011, maintained the practice of the meditation technique for nearly 6-8 months, managed to stay away from Alcohol and Smoking during this time. Fell back again. Went again for another course in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016. The story remains the same for years 2012, 13 and 14 and after 2014 I had went into chronic drinking to the verge of being declared as an addict. But since 2015 I had been consistent in my practices till date and now have no intentions of falling back.

5) Recently took up cycling and running; but had been many a times quite consistent and many a times not so consistent with them.

That being said; you must be thinking what good 'being inconsistent' can bring in one's life. The negative aspects attached with inconsistent behavior pattern are quite evident and clear, I need not to highlight them or state the obvious facts of the matter. Everyone knows that perseverance is the key to success; even the person with my level of inconstancy understands this simple fact of life. I am here to talk about a few positives which I had taken from my own vacillations in the following few paragraphs.

The very first and foremost is the art of dealing with reluctance when it comes to starting something all over again. Reluctance is one aspect of 'co-efficient of friction'. There is a fundamental difference between life and physics; i.e. of objectivity and subjectivity. In life there is no one co-efficient of friction; but series of co-efficient frictions deterring your movement forward. So with each new endeavor of starting all over again, you get rid of one or two of these co-efficients or reduce the intensity of it.So that way; as compared to every (n-1)th process of starting over; every nth and (n+1)th process becomes easier. And time taken to get back 'on track' reduces. This learning in itself is worth the trouble of starting it all over.

The second benefit would be awareness towards 'self ignorance' resulting in self-awareness. People who do things consistently does not mean that they are doing it with awareness. And since they have a straight line graph so there is a very little chance that they will come to know about this ignorance. Whereas with people like us; we will be totally self ignorant and at the same time will not be doing anything what we should or ought to be doing. This will give us some space to see this self-ignorance and we become aware of it. As soon as we be aware of it and aware of the fact that we have been off the way; off the track; we snap right back in and this time with some sense of awareness into the act. The more this happens more is the awareness we get. The only trap here is of falling more into the phase of inaction and self-ignorance and not making any visible or viable efforts of coming out of it. Rather totally giving in. This happens with the thought "what is the use", "not worth it". But let me tell you with my own experience that it is totally worth it and that is the only use life has. To fight back your own lows and come up to fall down again and so on and so forth.

The third positive is that you learn the art of dealing with ennui. Ennui is the root cause of all evil in the society is my take on it. Most people don't know how to deal with ennui. People with a consistent life have consistent way of dealing with ennui which in itself becomes the biggest ennui of their lives. But people with inconsistency will try to find different way to deal with the same. And these different ways will become different activities in their lives. There is a chance that some of these activities becomes hobbies and in turn becomes a part in life. But the pit fall here with this type of dealing is: sometimes it leaves you as jack of all trades and master of none.

The fourth and very last positive I find with my type of inconsistent life is getting prepared for the second half of the life. Life is very long.Worldwide, the average life expectancy at birth was 71.5 years (68 years and 4 months for males and 72 years and 8 months for females) over the period 2010–2015 according to United Nations World Population Prospects 2015 Revision, or 69 years (67 years for males and 71.1 years for females) for 2016 according to The World Factbook. Keeping that in mind, if one does not get an untimely death one is going to live for atleast 72 years. Mostly people they get married at the age of 28 and gets settled at the age of 36 and then they go on vegetating and become clueless as to what to do with life till they die. The kind of education and values we impart on our children is to lead them to settlement at a certain point of time in life. And that number is defined as mid thirties. But no body knows or thinks about what next? What after 35-36? With inconsistency you get opportunities to experiment till you are 30-34, then the time comes to consolidate on these experiments you have done with yourself. You would be left with so many things and ideas which you could work upon in the later half of your life. The only pit fall in this line of argument is: you tend to lose focus and there are chances that you never will be focused enough to turn your experimentations into viable outcomes.

So all in all I would say that there is no harm in being inconsistent in life, unless you are determined enough to fight back and get back in the game of life. This is a fight which you fight within yourself and is the only fight worth fighting for. So keep fighting and keep coming back. Be as inconsistent as you wish to be, trying not get consistent even with this inconsistency. Try to find something concrete from this wobbly life, taking every wobble as an opportunity to find something composed which can accompany you all your life till the very end like I found cycling and running.