The Reality Of Pain - 200 KM Brevet Ride

When you are into this game of long distance endurance building activities, you get to understand the concept of mind over matter first hand. Pain is that one illusion that gets shattered in these kinds of activities. Brevet format of cycling is one of them. Pain does not, will not and can never become pleasure; that is a myth. If that happens visit a psychiatrist because you are turning into a sadist. But what really happens is: you start seeing beyond pain. You go through the pain and see its impermanent nature. This experiential knowledge of impermanence is very crucial in reducing the hold of pain on your mind and thoughts. These uncomfortable zones they start turning into your comfort zones. As the saying goes “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

"My Beauty"

There two things I love about endurance sports like cycling and running:

1) Their simplicity
2) The personal growth they offer in terms of these life learnings

Running is simpler than cycling, but I still prefer cycling over running because I personally like a little touch of complexity with a greater sense of simplicity.

This brevet was indeed one of my toughest because of the external factors like dust, heavy traffic whizzing past you like a storm blowing against a lighted match stick and the traffic that comes towards you from the opposite direction with full beam; blinding you for a few minutes. But one thing I felt comfortable with was the pain. There are 4 areas of pain when it comes to long distance cycling:

1) The palms; which are resting heavily on the handle bars supporting your entire upper body weight.
2) You buttocks; for obvious reasons.
3) Your legs from all those hours and hours of pedaling
4) Your back; because of the unusual riding posture.

On this brevet I had least trouble with the first two. Managed pretty well the 3rd one and had a little trouble with the fourth one because of change in my cycle’s geometry due to a change of my cycling tyres. I went from conventional MBT tyres to thinner hybrid ones.

The definition of Endurance is: “the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way”. This is not absolute in real life application. When it comes to real life experience or application of endurance you vacillate between these moments of almost giving way to not giving way at all. This brevet I had so many moments where I was powerful and gave no way with a very few moments where I almost gave way. That is because I was otherwise feeling strong and powerful in life. After having a long struggling phase of low self-esteem and low self-worth I did managed to pull myself out of it in life. That is why they call it endurance testing rides. Sometimes these rides they build your endurance and make you feel powerful in life and sometimes life does that to your endurance rides.

"Something As Simple As A Glass Of Chai Can Be Highly Rejuvenating"

This would sound very strange, but it is pain, discomfort and unpleasantness that actually supplements your sensitivity and makes you grow more sensitive towards life and its aspects. It is not pain, discomfort and unpleasantness in absolute that does that magic. But it is the very process of you overcoming them and shedding their hold on you that actually does that. When you are being into a prolonged period of unpleasant or difficult process or situation; without giving way; you will observe that every other experience grows many folds. For example something as simple as a cool breeze on a sweaty and hot body, feels like a little more than refreshing: call it invigorating. Something as simple as a gulp of cold water down your dry and warm throat feels like a little more than a magic potion: call it elixir of life. And a song or tune in your ear sounds a little more than an anthem: call it the hymn of life. These are a few examples. Hope you get the picture clear, or do I need to state more?

"Even Something as Simple As A Sunset Seems So Magical"

In a way you start feeling grateful to these discomforts, unpleasant moments and all the pains. They help you see through them, if you are willing to look, and they help you grow through them if you are willing to observe.

“The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Journey...

I came thus far not because someone told me to,
This was my choice, my decision for once being true

My days of lying and fooling myself had to get over,
I got some pedals and a saddle, this was my time to get sober

My learning have always been sluggish and and kind of slow
But I have arrived and reached, when time has called upon me to show

For me this journey has just started to unfold,
There is no stopping back, nothing that can hold

I will spread these wings and goto places untouched,
Explore, seek and discover the joy within, which is ready to be unearthed

This is the day I promise myself, that I am never going to be unhappy again,
But be that bundle of sunshine and rainbows, which no walls and darkness can contain...

Life On Saddle and Beyond - Nearly 12,000 KM of Cycling

Nearly 1.5 years from today I wrote a post titled Life On The Saddle - 5000 Kms of Cycling. This post is a sequel to this last post.

At the time when I wrote that post I was still struggling in this recovery from my serious love affair with alcohol and cigarette addiction. That was the time I was occupied with this thinking and high headedness, that by getting into cycling and staying away from Cigarette and Alcohol is more than enough in life. Slowly and gradually I started growing as a cyclist. I soon completed my first 50 Kilometers. Then I did my first century ride. After which I went from Delhi to Rishikesh on cycle; that was my first double century. Then I completed the golden triangle (Delhi - Agra - Jaipur - Delhi) covering 750 Kilometers in 3 days. Then came my first 300 Kilometer brevet which I managed to finish comfortably in 17 hours and so on and so forth. Still, till last 2-3 months, I used to be under impression that just by getting into cycling and successfully managing to fight down my years long addiction of alcohol and cigarette; I am some sort of a heavyweight or headliner. And I am doing some kind of favor on people around me.

Of course managing these back breaking and butt burning, hours long cycle rides is not easy. But there should cometh a point in life when one needs to move on from his own achievements; stop being amazed at one's own-self progress and look for endeavors more challenging and daunting. This is how growth happens. The day you stop looking for these new embarkments in life, the growth in life stops. Stagnation seeps in, when you grossly entrench yourself in self glorification. Today while riding and talking to my girlfriend on the phone for 2 long hours, I realized that it is high time for me to move on and take up new challenges and touch upon some untouched territories. Because cycling and not getting back to my old-self has now been cemented into my system. Sometimes we get so much engrossed in making useless efforts into things which has started happening effortlessly on its own that we stop expanding newer horizons because we do not have any energy left.

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

― Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

I realized today that I need not to make any extra effort to keep these two going, i.e. cycling and not getting back to my own-self. I can utilize all that effort in expanding new horizons and embarking upon new endeavors. I have been making plans for new things and failing at it miserably all this while not realizing or having a single clue as to why. Today I know the reason. It was because I was fearful of letting go of the effort which was required to sustain the changed lifestyle which I adopted some 2.5 years ago. Not realizing that this lifestyle had been moving on its own accord for a long time now and my efforts had just been a contributor to the stagnation in my life. It is just like when you start to learn cycling and some elder holds your seat from behind to help you balance. You ride and ride and one day you look back to realize that the hand that was there to support your balance had long been gone and you have traveled a long way on your own. Now you need not to be conscious of your balance anymore, but if you do, you are bound to fall. 

With this newfound realization and knowledge (Thanks to 1. my cycle and other, 2. my Girlfriend); the time has come to add some more juggling clubs in my act of juggling in life. I have realized that I need to keep the current juggling clubs moving and add more elements. Time has come and time is ripe when I need to move and grow in my professional and academic prospects of life as well. This is something I was very good at and it is also something that had long been neglected and ignored. Starting and opening this front, won't be easy. But so was with leaving behind smoking and drinking and adapting a healthy lifestyle. I have never been a quitter on challenges, nor will I be this time. It was typically me, being fearful of letting go of something I had long conquered. I am now ready with some new found energy and vigor. 

Life! Bring it on!!