Dogs Vs Humans

I will be honest with you all. I have never been close to dogs or at least for the last 15 years. Nor have I ever been a dog lover. Certainly not the kinds that you encounter on Instagram or like Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson kind. These creatures have thrown me out of my saddle while riding my bicycle many a times causing me physical injuries or that is what I have thought it to be. Because of which I had never been a fan of them, nor have I cared for their existence.

I have been locked down in the Shiv Nadar University for the last couple of months. There are a lot of clubs and communities in the University. This kind of diversity and awareness is something I really like about SNU. So there is also a community for dog lovers by the name Dogs of SNU. I am clearly a misfit here given my original disposition. But in the desperate times with lesser the number of students on campus I was given this responsibility of feeding the dogs of my cluster by Dogs of SNU. To be honest initially I thought what unnecessary irk I got down my throat and I was not very willing to do it initially. But then I thought what the heck, if I cannot help the poor creature in the time of need being available on the campus then who will. Keeping my prejudices related to dogs aside I agreed to take up the responsibility.

Now I am really thankful and grateful to Dogs of SNU for giving me this opportunity to serve these creatures who are epitome of faithfulness. This exercise has transformed me in many ways and changed the way I think. It changed me not just in my approach towards dogs; by being more empathetic towards them; but also in a way I started seeing other human beings. It also helped me a great deal in dealing with my break up.

It was never these dogs who threw me off my balance and bicycle I have come to realize now. It was my fear. As I started coming closer and closer to these beauties I have come to a realization that you better know and understand your fear rather than running away from them so that they don't throw you off your balance in life. But rather transform into love and compassion.

I had grown very acerbic and bitter towards others because of my breakup. As Buddha has rightly said and I quote "you are the first victim of your own anger". I would say it is true not just for anger, but for every negativity that you generate, you become the first victim of it. Being a Vipassana practitioner I knew this for a fact but when it comes to real life and situations the mind has its own ways. But I am really thankful to my practice and these dogs who have helped me see it.

The clouded compassion started shining again once the clouds of negativity started to clear. There is one more thing I have learnt about humans through these dogs that  when you get to know dogs better, you tend to develop a comfort zone around them and vice versa. Same is not true with humans. As and when you get to know humans better you need not develop the same comfort zone. It can also be that the comfort zone that you had before you have known the person in depth, gets transmogrified into a discomfort zone. With us humans ignorance is bliss. With dogs it is not.

Lastly I just want to thank Dogs of SNU for giving me this opportunity to come close to these beautiful creatures. They have really helped me in transforming my being. They helped me in being a better person, from being spiteful to being kind. Now they don't scare me anymore. All I have for them is love, compassion and an easy sense of friendliness. I still may not be a notarized natural dog lover, but I don't care for anyone's approval. I am happy with this change in my being.

“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” – Charles De Gaulle

Rear-view Mirror

 "My Third-Eye - Rear-View Mirror"

I have a small rear-view mirror mounted on my bi-cycle handle as I am very apprehensive when it comes to taking a turn or crossing a road while riding my bike. I bought the this piece of accessory keeping in mind its only utility, i.e. to look at the rear traffic while riding and crossing roads. But that is not the only purpose this piece of item has served for me. In my riding experience with it for last 1 year; since the time I bought it; has it not only served the purpose of an extra eye but has taken over this role of a third eye.

"The End Of Business Hours"

This eye has shown me countless number of sunsets setting at my back, numerous contours of sky, captured plethora of birds flying in its view and caught many trees as if they were all trying to get featured on this tiny reflective surface. You must be thinking why am I writing an entire post on such a trifling piece of item which has almost no value in the cycling sport. The answer to that question is: for me cycling is not just a sport but an aesthetic experience. It is like a double-edged sword. It helps me in being close to nature and at the same time helps me in keeping fit. And let me tell you, this one piece of attachment in the form of rear-view mirror has transformed this experience. From time to time looking at this rear-view mirror and the contents of nature coming in and going out has become a cardinal part of my everyday cycling routine.

"Here I am On The Road Again..." 

"A Perfect Combination: That Glorious Sun Amongst The Clouds"

Sometimes just by looking at these images on my rear-view mirror, I simply stop, absorb the sky, the clouds, the birds, sun, moon, and the nature, take a picture; if I feel like it; and move on. I will share some of the pictures I took because I was being stopped and told to do so by this magic mirror. Also on the surface of this reflector, every image changes every second, constantly reminding me of the value of impermanence. When I get cruising because of a tail-wind or downhill slope, it serves as a reminder for me that: this too shall pass and advises not to get carried away because the opposite situation is also in store and will come. Sometimes, when I am struggling with pain, storms, headwinds, or uphill climbs, this mirror with its changing imagery serves as a constant reminder that this too will change and helps me to get through those tough phases.   

"Cloudy: Sometimes Not So Clear and A Loner Bird"

Journey...

I came thus far not because someone told me to,
This was my choice, my decision for once being true

My days of lying and fooling myself had to get over,
I got some pedals and a saddle, this was my time to get sober

My learning have always been sluggish and and kind of slow
But I have arrived and reached, when time has called upon me to show

For me this journey has just started to unfold,
There is no stopping back, nothing that can hold

I will spread these wings and goto places untouched,
Explore, seek and discover the joy within, which is ready to be unearthed

This is the day I promise myself, that I am never going to be unhappy again,
But be that bundle of sunshine and rainbows, which no walls and darkness can contain...

Life On Saddle and Beyond - Nearly 12,000 KM of Cycling

Nearly 1.5 years from today I wrote a post titled Life On The Saddle - 5000 Kms of Cycling. This post is a sequel to this last post.

At the time when I wrote that post I was still struggling in this recovery from my serious love affair with alcohol and cigarette addiction. That was the time I was occupied with this thinking and high headedness, that by getting into cycling and staying away from Cigarette and Alcohol is more than enough in life. Slowly and gradually I started growing as a cyclist. I soon completed my first 50 Kilometers. Then I did my first century ride. After which I went from Delhi to Rishikesh on cycle; that was my first double century. Then I completed the golden triangle (Delhi - Agra - Jaipur - Delhi) covering 750 Kilometers in 3 days. Then came my first 300 Kilometer brevet which I managed to finish comfortably in 17 hours and so on and so forth. Still, till last 2-3 months, I used to be under impression that just by getting into cycling and successfully managing to fight down my years long addiction of alcohol and cigarette; I am some sort of a heavyweight or headliner. And I am doing some kind of favor on people around me.

Of course managing these back breaking and butt burning, hours long cycle rides is not easy. But there should cometh a point in life when one needs to move on from his own achievements; stop being amazed at one's own-self progress and look for endeavors more challenging and daunting. This is how growth happens. The day you stop looking for these new embarkments in life, the growth in life stops. Stagnation seeps in, when you grossly entrench yourself in self glorification. Today while riding and talking to my girlfriend on the phone for 2 long hours, I realized that it is high time for me to move on and take up new challenges and touch upon some untouched territories. Because cycling and not getting back to my old-self has now been cemented into my system. Sometimes we get so much engrossed in making useless efforts into things which has started happening effortlessly on its own that we stop expanding newer horizons because we do not have any energy left.

“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

― Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

I realized today that I need not to make any extra effort to keep these two going, i.e. cycling and not getting back to my own-self. I can utilize all that effort in expanding new horizons and embarking upon new endeavors. I have been making plans for new things and failing at it miserably all this while not realizing or having a single clue as to why. Today I know the reason. It was because I was fearful of letting go of the effort which was required to sustain the changed lifestyle which I adopted some 2.5 years ago. Not realizing that this lifestyle had been moving on its own accord for a long time now and my efforts had just been a contributor to the stagnation in my life. It is just like when you start to learn cycling and some elder holds your seat from behind to help you balance. You ride and ride and one day you look back to realize that the hand that was there to support your balance had long been gone and you have traveled a long way on your own. Now you need not to be conscious of your balance anymore, but if you do, you are bound to fall. 

With this newfound realization and knowledge (Thanks to 1. my cycle and other, 2. my Girlfriend); the time has come to add some more juggling clubs in my act of juggling in life. I have realized that I need to keep the current juggling clubs moving and add more elements. Time has come and time is ripe when I need to move and grow in my professional and academic prospects of life as well. This is something I was very good at and it is also something that had long been neglected and ignored. Starting and opening this front, won't be easy. But so was with leaving behind smoking and drinking and adapting a healthy lifestyle. I have never been a quitter on challenges, nor will I be this time. It was typically me, being fearful of letting go of something I had long conquered. I am now ready with some new found energy and vigor. 

Life! Bring it on!!  

The Two Worlds Of An Airport

It is only on an Airport that you will find two sections, one for Arrivals and one for Departures. Unlike a railway station which has a uniform platform for both the purposes. So the kind of divisional display of human emotions so prominently visible at an airport gets profusely diffused on a railway station.

At an airport with it being divided into the above said sections it becomes a world of two minds. One mind is full of expectancy of meeting someone and the other full of reluctance of letting; someone you know; go. This is the same way we normally react to every other situation we face in our lives. Airport's Arrival and Departure sections are only a makeshift stage for this human behavior of expectancy and holding onto, to be displayed in its stark nakedness.

Whenever life throws at us situations; which we call favorable; we start getting excited and start growing more and more in anticipation. After receiving that favorable situation in reality we start holding onto it and not want to let that situation go and want it to stay longer. This human nature of us deter us to make the best of those situations as we are in a state of constant tension. Always trying something or the other.

What I have realized with my visits to the Airport; when I went to receive and see someone off is; when we start controlling our expectancy; keeping it under check; we receive whatever life throws at us with simple happiness and with less excitement. And if we can somehow reduce our clinging, we really live with whatever life has/had thrown at us. Once you have really lived with the situation/person, you get a feeling of contentment, and saying goodbye to the person/situation becomes easier. Deep down inside you know that the situation or the person will be coming back to you and till then you need to prepare yourself again to receive them better than the last time.

Misery is our creation and will always be. The effort should be about how to reduce this misery and grow more in contentment (I do not mean complacency here).

The Starting of Starting All Over Again and Again

"The Wobbly Clothesline In My Balcony; The Clips Depicting The Inconsistency Of Life With Moments Of Interruption"

When it comes to picking up a hobby or activity; leaving it all of a sudden and keep coming back to it; I will be crowned as an unprecedented, unrivalled champion! I am an expert to this kind of pattern. I have only been consistent in being inconsistent. Before we can go into the pros and cons of the matter; let me put some facts about my life to support the argument made above in regards to my inconsistencies:

1) Took up playing Basketball and Cricket. Played it till State Level; now play neither of the sports.

2) Loved Mathematics and Computers; but lost interest in both subjects in Engineering College.

3) Took up reading and avid interest in English Language. Till now had frequent love hate relationship with it. This inconsistency can be observed from difference of date and time in my blog posts.

4) Went for my first Vipassana Meditation course in 2011, maintained the practice of the meditation technique for nearly 6-8 months, managed to stay away from Alcohol and Smoking during this time. Fell back again. Went again for another course in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016. The story remains the same for years 2012, 13 and 14 and after 2014 I had went into chronic drinking to the verge of being declared as an addict. But since 2015 I had been consistent in my practices till date and now have no intentions of falling back.

5) Recently took up cycling and running; but had been many a times quite consistent and many a times not so consistent with them.

That being said; you must be thinking what good 'being inconsistent' can bring in one's life. The negative aspects attached with inconsistent behavior pattern are quite evident and clear, I need not to highlight them or state the obvious facts of the matter. Everyone knows that perseverance is the key to success; even the person with my level of inconstancy understands this simple fact of life. I am here to talk about a few positives which I had taken from my own vacillations in the following few paragraphs.

The very first and foremost is the art of dealing with reluctance when it comes to starting something all over again. Reluctance is one aspect of 'co-efficient of friction'. There is a fundamental difference between life and physics; i.e. of objectivity and subjectivity. In life there is no one co-efficient of friction; but series of co-efficient frictions deterring your movement forward. So with each new endeavor of starting all over again, you get rid of one or two of these co-efficients or reduce the intensity of it.So that way; as compared to every (n-1)th process of starting over; every nth and (n+1)th process becomes easier. And time taken to get back 'on track' reduces. This learning in itself is worth the trouble of starting it all over.

The second benefit would be awareness towards 'self ignorance' resulting in self-awareness. People who do things consistently does not mean that they are doing it with awareness. And since they have a straight line graph so there is a very little chance that they will come to know about this ignorance. Whereas with people like us; we will be totally self ignorant and at the same time will not be doing anything what we should or ought to be doing. This will give us some space to see this self-ignorance and we become aware of it. As soon as we be aware of it and aware of the fact that we have been off the way; off the track; we snap right back in and this time with some sense of awareness into the act. The more this happens more is the awareness we get. The only trap here is of falling more into the phase of inaction and self-ignorance and not making any visible or viable efforts of coming out of it. Rather totally giving in. This happens with the thought "what is the use", "not worth it". But let me tell you with my own experience that it is totally worth it and that is the only use life has. To fight back your own lows and come up to fall down again and so on and so forth.

The third positive is that you learn the art of dealing with ennui. Ennui is the root cause of all evil in the society is my take on it. Most people don't know how to deal with ennui. People with a consistent life have consistent way of dealing with ennui which in itself becomes the biggest ennui of their lives. But people with inconsistency will try to find different way to deal with the same. And these different ways will become different activities in their lives. There is a chance that some of these activities becomes hobbies and in turn becomes a part in life. But the pit fall here with this type of dealing is: sometimes it leaves you as jack of all trades and master of none.

The fourth and very last positive I find with my type of inconsistent life is getting prepared for the second half of the life. Life is very long.Worldwide, the average life expectancy at birth was 71.5 years (68 years and 4 months for males and 72 years and 8 months for females) over the period 2010–2015 according to United Nations World Population Prospects 2015 Revision, or 69 years (67 years for males and 71.1 years for females) for 2016 according to The World Factbook. Keeping that in mind, if one does not get an untimely death one is going to live for atleast 72 years. Mostly people they get married at the age of 28 and gets settled at the age of 36 and then they go on vegetating and become clueless as to what to do with life till they die. The kind of education and values we impart on our children is to lead them to settlement at a certain point of time in life. And that number is defined as mid thirties. But no body knows or thinks about what next? What after 35-36? With inconsistency you get opportunities to experiment till you are 30-34, then the time comes to consolidate on these experiments you have done with yourself. You would be left with so many things and ideas which you could work upon in the later half of your life. The only pit fall in this line of argument is: you tend to lose focus and there are chances that you never will be focused enough to turn your experimentations into viable outcomes.

So all in all I would say that there is no harm in being inconsistent in life, unless you are determined enough to fight back and get back in the game of life. This is a fight which you fight within yourself and is the only fight worth fighting for. So keep fighting and keep coming back. Be as inconsistent as you wish to be, trying not get consistent even with this inconsistency. Try to find something concrete from this wobbly life, taking every wobble as an opportunity to find something composed which can accompany you all your life till the very end like I found cycling and running.