The Reality Of Pain - 200 KM Brevet Ride

When you are into this game of long distance endurance building activities, you get to understand the concept of mind over matter first hand. Pain is that one illusion that gets shattered in these kinds of activities. Brevet format of cycling is one of them. Pain does not, will not and can never become pleasure; that is a myth. If that happens visit a psychiatrist because you are turning into a sadist. But what really happens is: you start seeing beyond pain. You go through the pain and see its impermanent nature. This experiential knowledge of impermanence is very crucial in reducing the hold of pain on your mind and thoughts. These uncomfortable zones they start turning into your comfort zones. As the saying goes “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

"My Beauty"

There two things I love about endurance sports like cycling and running:

1) Their simplicity
2) The personal growth they offer in terms of these life learnings

Running is simpler than cycling, but I still prefer cycling over running because I personally like a little touch of complexity with a greater sense of simplicity.

This brevet was indeed one of my toughest because of the external factors like dust, heavy traffic whizzing past you like a storm blowing against a lighted match stick and the traffic that comes towards you from the opposite direction with full beam; blinding you for a few minutes. But one thing I felt comfortable with was the pain. There are 4 areas of pain when it comes to long distance cycling:

1) The palms; which are resting heavily on the handle bars supporting your entire upper body weight.
2) You buttocks; for obvious reasons.
3) Your legs from all those hours and hours of pedaling
4) Your back; because of the unusual riding posture.

On this brevet I had least trouble with the first two. Managed pretty well the 3rd one and had a little trouble with the fourth one because of change in my cycle’s geometry due to a change of my cycling tyres. I went from conventional MBT tyres to thinner hybrid ones.

The definition of Endurance is: “the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way”. This is not absolute in real life application. When it comes to real life experience or application of endurance you vacillate between these moments of almost giving way to not giving way at all. This brevet I had so many moments where I was powerful and gave no way with a very few moments where I almost gave way. That is because I was otherwise feeling strong and powerful in life. After having a long struggling phase of low self-esteem and low self-worth I did managed to pull myself out of it in life. That is why they call it endurance testing rides. Sometimes these rides they build your endurance and make you feel powerful in life and sometimes life does that to your endurance rides.

"Something As Simple As A Glass Of Chai Can Be Highly Rejuvenating"

This would sound very strange, but it is pain, discomfort and unpleasantness that actually supplements your sensitivity and makes you grow more sensitive towards life and its aspects. It is not pain, discomfort and unpleasantness in absolute that does that magic. But it is the very process of you overcoming them and shedding their hold on you that actually does that. When you are being into a prolonged period of unpleasant or difficult process or situation; without giving way; you will observe that every other experience grows many folds. For example something as simple as a cool breeze on a sweaty and hot body, feels like a little more than refreshing: call it invigorating. Something as simple as a gulp of cold water down your dry and warm throat feels like a little more than a magic potion: call it elixir of life. And a song or tune in your ear sounds a little more than an anthem: call it the hymn of life. These are a few examples. Hope you get the picture clear, or do I need to state more?

"Even Something as Simple As A Sunset Seems So Magical"

In a way you start feeling grateful to these discomforts, unpleasant moments and all the pains. They help you see through them, if you are willing to look, and they help you grow through them if you are willing to observe.

“The sea's only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don't know much about the sea, but I do know that that's the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Rear-view Mirror

 "My Third-Eye - Rear-View Mirror"

I have a small rear-view mirror mounted on my bi-cycle handle as I am very apprehensive when it comes to taking a turn or crossing a road while riding my bike. I bought the this piece of accessory keeping in mind its only utility, i.e. to look at the rear traffic while riding and crossing roads. But that is not the only purpose this piece of item has served for me. In my riding experience with it for last 1 year; since the time I bought it; has it not only served the purpose of an extra eye but has taken over this role of a third eye.

"The End Of Business Hours"

This eye has shown me countless number of sunsets setting at my back, numerous contours of sky, captured plethora of birds flying in its view and caught many trees as if they were all trying to get featured on this tiny reflective surface. You must be thinking why am I writing an entire post on such a trifling piece of item which has almost no value in the cycling sport. The answer to that question is: for me cycling is not just a sport but an aesthetic experience. It is like a double-edged sword. It helps me in being close to nature and at the same time helps me in keeping fit. And let me tell you, this one piece of attachment in the form of rear-view mirror has transformed this experience. From time to time looking at this rear-view mirror and the contents of nature coming in and going out has become a cardinal part of my everyday cycling routine.

"Here I am On The Road Again..." 

"A Perfect Combination: That Glorious Sun Amongst The Clouds"

Sometimes just by looking at these images on my rear-view mirror, I simply stop, absorb the sky, the clouds, the birds, sun, moon, and the nature, take a picture; if I feel like it; and move on. I will share some of the pictures I took because I was being stopped and told to do so by this magic mirror. Also on the surface of this reflector, every image changes every second, constantly reminding me of the value of impermanence. When I get cruising because of a tail-wind or downhill slope, it serves as a reminder for me that: this too shall pass and advises not to get carried away because the opposite situation is also in store and will come. Sometimes, when I am struggling with pain, storms, headwinds, or uphill climbs, this mirror with its changing imagery serves as a constant reminder that this too will change and helps me to get through those tough phases.   

"Cloudy: Sometimes Not So Clear and A Loner Bird"

बचपन के वो पर्दे

उन पर्दों को देख के वो बचपन याद आता है,


जब घर के उन कोनों में ये हवा से यूँ लहराते होते थे।

सुरक्षा और आश्रय के ये प्रतीक, 
जब घर में दौड़ते दौड़ते हम इनसे जान बूझ के टकराते थे।
अपनी लंबाई से हम इन्हें कभी नापा करते थे,
अपने चेहरे, माथे से और वेग से हम इन पर्दों से भी कभी लड़ाई करते थे।
कभी इन्हें अपना जिगरी दोस्त मान के दिल से गले लगाया करते थे,
और कभी कट्टर दुश्मन मान के मुक्के इनपे बरसाया करते थे।
पिताजी की डांट की गर्जन से जब पूरा घर थरथराता था,
हम तो बस इन्ही दीवार से लटके कुछ फ़ीट के कपड़ो को ही ढाल बना के खुद को सुरक्षित महसूस कराना जाना करते थे।
चाहे खेल हो आइस पाइस का, या फिर चंचलता में गोल गोल घूमने का,
हम तो बस इन्ही पर्दों के सहारे खुश होना जाना करते थे।
आज भी जब इनको हम हवा से यूँ लहराते देखा करते हैं,
तो कहीं ना कहीं वो मासूम सी भोली सुरक्षा और क्रीडा को याद करते खुदको पाया करते हैं।

Entanglement

Strangulated in this linear entanglement

Getting content with this fulfilling resentment

Overwhelmed with this subtle numbness
Embracing this pleasant hurt with greatest tenderness
These entanglements speak silently of my past struggles
Under the naked sky,
Chilling wind on my face, ruffling these strands of black hair
I pass these twisted and accessible hurdles
Throw what you may, dirt, muck or filth
With effort, patience and love
Walking the path of truth
I will transform every dirt into gold so pure,
Every muck into a majestic lotus
and every filth into a bright prospect
My entanglements are my opportunities
Making me grow, making me strong,
Bringing-out all vigor and buoyant properties
I will not let anyone take away my entanglements
and promise will make use of them to the greatest of my strengths.

सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली

"सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली"

अरे तो इसमें दिक्कत क्या है भाई? बिल्ली हज को ही तो चली है, मैखाने की तरफ तो नहीं रूख किया है। कुछ लोगों की प्रवित्ति ही ऐसी होती है, निराशावाद से भरी हुई। इन लोगों की अगर आप सुनने लगेंगे तो एक समय आपको ऐसा लगेगा की आत्म सुधार बस इक मित्थ्या मात्र है, और कुछ नहीं। इनकी मानें तो आप अपने भूत की ऐसी संतान हैं जो नकारात्मकता से भरी हुई है। ऐसी संतान जिसका भूत भविष्य और वर्तमान, सब गर्त मैं पड़ा हुआ है। और गर्त भी तो ऐसा गर्त जिसमें से; इन जैसे लोगों के अनुसार; निकलना मुश्किल ही नहीं, नामुमकिन है। अगर आप इन लोगों की बातों को जयादा महत्त्व देंगे और गम्बीरता से लेंगे तो आप वो बिल्ली बन के रह जायेंगे जो अगर आत्म सुधार के तरफ कोई भी कदम उठाये तो कदम उठाने से पहले ये बोल के टोक दिया जाये "हुंह! सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली"। और फिर आप अपने आप को उस अनंत, कभी समाप्त न होने वाली प्रक्रिया में फंसे हुए पाएंगे। जिसमे आप इन निराशावादी लोगों को ये विश्वास दिलाने में लग जाते हैं की, आत्म सुधार, बेहतर भविष्य, एक ठोस संभावना है। ये लोग नहीं मानेंगे। आप और प्रयास करेंगे, ये लोग फिर आपको यह कह के झुठला देंगे की "सौ चूहे खा के बिल्ली हज को चली"।

आप पूछेंगे की हम किसी भी राह चलते निराशावादी मनुष्य को क्यों विश्वास दिलाने में अपनी ऊर्जा व्यर्थ करेंगे। पर ऐसे कुछ निराशावादी लोग आपके बहुत करीबी भी तो हो सकते हैं।  पर क्यूंकि ये लोग आपके इतने करीबी होते हैं, तो आप इन लोगों को विश्वास दिलाने में अपनी जरूरी ऊर्जा व्यर्थ कर देते हैं। इस ऊर्जा, जिसका आप आत्म सुधार, एक बेहतर भविष्य, जैसी संभावनाओं को हकीकत बनाने में लगा सकते थे, उसे आप इन कभी न समझने वाले लोगों को समझाने में नष्ट करते अपने आपको पाते हैं। क्या किया जाये की आप जयादा समय इन लोगों को अपनी सकारात्मकता सिद्ध करने में न व्यर्थ करें, और जल्दी होश में आ के इस ऊर्जा का उपयोग अपनी ज़िन्दगी को एक सकारात्मक आकार देने में लगाएं।

ऐसा करने के लिए दो अंश हैं:
१) अभिज्ञान
२) उपेक्षा

अभिज्ञान से तात्पर्य है की पहले पता तो लगाइये की ये व्यक्ति जो आपका बहुत करीबी है, वो एक नकारात्मक विचारशैली का धारक है। और अपने साथ वो आपको भी पीछे की तरफ खींच रहा है। जिस पल आपको इस बात का ज्ञांत हो जाता है, आप इस मनुष्य की उपेक्षा प्रारम्भ कर देंगे। जैसे ही आप इस प्राणी की उपेक्षा करना शुरू कर देते हैं, आप पाएंगे की आपको इसकी किसी भी बात का अब कोई असर नहीं पड़ रहा है। अब आपके लिए इस मनुष्य को कुछ साबित करना अनिवार्य नहीं है। आपकी इस व्यक्ति की तरफ कोई जवाबदेही नहीं है। तब जा के कहीं आप अपनी महत्वपूर्ण ऊर्जा का सदुपयोग करना प्रारम्भ करेंगे और अपने जीवन को एक नयी दिशा देने का काम प्रारम्भ करेंगे।

Journey...

I came thus far not because someone told me to,
This was my choice, my decision for once being true

My days of lying and fooling myself had to get over,
I got some pedals and a saddle, this was my time to get sober

My learning have always been sluggish and and kind of slow
But I have arrived and reached, when time has called upon me to show

For me this journey has just started to unfold,
There is no stopping back, nothing that can hold

I will spread these wings and goto places untouched,
Explore, seek and discover the joy within, which is ready to be unearthed

This is the day I promise myself, that I am never going to be unhappy again,
But be that bundle of sunshine and rainbows, which no walls and darkness can contain...

ज्वलन

तप से डरे है क्यों राही,

इस नदिया है तूफ़ान माही|
जो तू चला त्यागने अपनी भ्रान्ति,
ये पथ नहीं आसान रे पंथी|
जूझ आज अपनी उलझनों से,
कल के ख़यालों पे क्यों सोये रे|
इन घनघोर अंधेरी रातों में, तू जला के अपने पराक्रम की ज्वाला,
ज्ञान, विवेक और पुरुषार्थ से आज फिरसे कर दे तू एक नवीन उजाला।
जले हुए को क्या डराएगी ये आग की लपटें,
जी लिया बस बहुत यूँ डरते डरते।
झोंक देना इस जीवन को तुम तप, अग्नि, ज्वाला, अनल में,
यूँ हो कि या तो बस राख रह जाये, या तो कुंदन कमल से।

-beelikemakkhi